Our values, as humans, are exquisitely important to us. We can make or break relationships over shared or unshared values. We can build our own boundaries (the point at which we say “no”) based on our values.
A brief values exercise for you to enjoy.
Firstly choose your values. Here’s a link to the Wikipedia page talking about universal values. These include: Universalism: broadmindedness; wisdom; social justice; equality; a world at peace; a world of beauty; unity with nature; protecting the environment; inner harmony. Benevolence: helpfulness; honesty; forgiveness; loyalty; responsibility; friendship. and many more.
It’s a great place to start by just scanning those values you are most attracted to. And if you have other values that you wish to add – that’s fine too. Some values that are very personal to us, don’t even have a single word to describe them. And that’s also fine, just make sure you have a clear idea of what they actually mean, and give them a name of your own making.
Then create yourself a list of the top 20 values, that you really wouldn’t wish to discard. Then scale that down to the most important 10.
And from this you can create a hierarchy of values, Write out each value on a seperate piece of paper, and work through them. Asking yourself – if you can have X but not Y, would that matter?
At this rate you’ll soon have a hierarchy of your values. Which means you can start to identify more closely those areas that are important to you, and use this list to build your boundaries.
Values also work with Metaprograms
You may notice that certain values have opposites, and that linking these into metaprograms can provide an even richer experience. For example: Big-Picture-Thinking vs Small-Details-Orientated. Or Sociable vs Solitary. It can be useful and interesting to work through a list of metaprograms, and use these spectrums to enrich your values even further. For example, perhaps you are a Big-Picture-Thinker … but just how big picture are you? By interrogating yourself, you can zoom in and out, across and along these axes and work out what level of each value appeals to you.
Remember your strengths too.
Our strengths tend to be differently aligned according to our values. You can imagine that someone who has a highly prized value of “fun” – is likely to also have a strong strength when it comes to humour or joy. And although on the Strengthfinder there is a “top 20 list” that you can assess your own from for free (here’s a link). The chances are your strengths are also aligned to your values.
By looking at your values and your strengths, you’ll be in a great place to set boundaries and ideals to live by that are congruent, and feel good!
Enjoy the process.
Speaking from my own top values of humour, life-long learning and freedom of choice, I hope you have a brilliant, fun time learning more about yourself, and recognising that you can make transformational changes as and when you wish, based on this.
